Friday, May 5, 2017

Darling can't you hear me, S.O.S.

The first ABBA song I remember hearing when I was growing up is S.O.S. I didn't know it was ABBA at the time because we had it on one of those cheaper "all the top hits" albums with fake singers. Later on when I realized ABBA sang that song and so many others of my favorites, I was a big fan (still am!)  But back to the subject of S.O.S. -- I need some help!

I used to love blogging about healthy eating because I had developed some healthy habits quite well, wanted to share how it worked for me, and knew that others needed support and guidance. Now I'm the one needing support and guidance. I've been struggling for the past few years to be consistent with my healthy eating and do well for awhile, then fall back, then stand up and fall again. It's quite defeating. But I recently read an article while Googling for how to be consistent with not eating sugar or something like that. When the writer congratulated herself on being consistent all these years, her definition of being consistent was that each time she faltered, she got back up and started again. She viewed that as being consistent!! That was new to me. I only thought I was consistent if I was doing well with eating healthy for months or years at a time.

Baron Baptiste uses a variation of this quote about the importance of getting up every time we fall in one of his yoga videos; I've referred to it while teaching balance poses because it's so easy to get frustrated with yourself when you fall out of a tree pose or eagle (or name your balance pose). I tell them that it doesn't really matter if they sway or fall -- the power lies in rising each and every time. I also tell them (and now I'm telling myself!) that the falling just gives us an opportunity to observe our thoughts and guide ourselves back to a calm state so we can find that steadiness (and not to worry about what I or anyone else thinks about them). So how can I adapt this to my battle with eating foods that are destructive for my body when I really don't want to be eating them, but do it anyway? I need to stand up, find my stable base, create stability and watch for the winds that may come my way. If I sway, I'll just start again and won't feel so awful that I keep falling. And I need to congratulate myself that I am consistent because I have not given up!

It's not the most fun thing to admit my shortcomings, but I miss writing and need to do it to clear my thoughts and make them more pronounced in my brain. I stopped blogging a few years ago (if you can't tell from the date on my previous post :) ) because I started doing other work that involved writing and editing and that filled that need for the most part. Now I can see I need to write for other reasons. I've always been expressive. I've written hundreds of letters and have filled up over a dozen journals in the days before email and blogs. Even if no one else reads my posts, I need them. But if they do help you or anyone else, that would also be wonderful!

I'm sure I'll be back before letting another two years pass. I need this in my journey to keep my body strong and away from the addictive substance that sugar is for me. I'll write more about that another day, but for now, I'm glad to have a clear head and pack on the path. TTFN!